Change of plans.

Ok, i've changed my mind. I'm moving back to Springfield.

Heres how i feel:
It just feel like it will be way easier on me if I go back. I'm already a student there, and transfering is a pain in my ass. If I go back I'm pretty positive I will graduate next December, if i transfer to UMSL I wont graduate until Spring 2012, maybe even summer. I want to be done.

I dont care what anyone thinks, I am doing this for myself. NOT for anyone else.

Chelsey, dont be mad at me. I just think it will be way easier for me to just go back and finish what i started. I dont want to take a break from school, I want to keep going. I feel like I made a mistake dropping everything so quickly and and moving home so fast anyway.

I should have finished the semester to begin with and taken time to think about it, i'm super dumb for not doing that.

But anyway, my mind is made up. Making a trip to Springfield tomorrow to see if i hopefully still have time to sign up for a dorm room, and im praying there is a 1 person dorm left. I'd love to have a room all to myself.

I'm done.

Getting started on school

Well I'm starting to apply for school. I started an application but I'm getting confused with it a bit. I have a tour set up on December 10, I'm sure it will be cold but i need to get this school thing going, thats why I've started applying.

I'm craving Mexican food. I have yet to have some good Mexican food since I've gotten home. I tried this new place in Washington and I wasnt to impressed with it. I want my fajita nachos so bad.

Last night.....all i can say is blah. I had a wonderful chat with a wonderful person. It was a bit sad and I cried a couple of times during it but it made me feel ok. To know that someone does miss me and wants to see me just as bad as i want to see them. But sadly, that wont happen until Christmas.

Thats all for now.

See the new picture ---->

I think my hair turned out good :). I like the bangs, but i was a little disapointed in the highlights, they are really suddle and i guess i wanted them to stand out a little more. But it's not bad.

I am not having any luck with finding a job. But, my mom talked to someone lady at family services and she is sending my mom and I something to fill out and it will apparently help us find a job. I did skip this old grocery store in downtown Washingotn, i might end up applying there. It's something. Cause I'm starting to run out of money and i still have Christmas presents to buy.

So Wednesday night was a ton of fun. Some of my friends and I went out, it was raining really bad, but it was still fun. I had a really confusing night though. All kinds of crap going through my head. I'm still a little confused but I dont want to get into details, maybe later.

My Thanksgiving was just eh. Went to my grandmas and i think this was the smallest family get together at my grandmas i've seen in a long time. I could barely eat anything, being as this was the first holiday without Kenny and I've had in awhile. And i didnt stay long, which I kinda felt bad leaving early, but yesterday just wasnt the best.

Well thats all i have for now.

A new me

A brief update, there will be a new me come tomorrow....say around 5ish?

I am getting my hair cut and highlighted tomorrow. No worries on the cutting though, im definently keeping it long, just getting a trim and.....BANGS! And like full on bangs too. I want Kate Hudsons bangs in Bride Wars:

I think there freaking cute and I'm getting them.

As for the highlights, i dont have any idea what I want to do. A friend of mine suggested caramel highlights and nothing bright. But i dont know, i kind of want to to do something different and crazy (but not extremely crazy). I've always wanted blonde and red highlights (i have brown hair). I need to figure this out by 3 tomorrow. blah.

Job hunting = no luck

So I went looking for jobs today, and had absolutley no luck. No one is hiring. Well thats not true, Target and Kohls is hiring for seasonal help. The only thing that sucks is I really dont want just a seasonal job, i'd like a job after Christmas is over. I did apply at target for the seasonal help cause i need the money for Christmas. I'm really trying to avoid Kohls, i know ive worked there before but i didnt really enjoy it that much. I was a super easy job but was really boring.

I havent been doing anything lately. This week should be a little fun. Wednesday I'm going out with some friends, its the biggest party night of the year. Then Friday I'm going with my friend Meek to try a new Thai/Japanese resturaunt. But, i'm not looking forward to Thanksgiving. I'm not looking forward to the holidays in general.

I'm starting to get really bored. I hope i find a job soon.

Dr. Pepper you will be the death of me.

I think I've had 5 Dr. Peppers today....not good.

This is the worst Friday ever. I'm super bored....It's only 9 o'clock :(. I'm watching the movie Valentine's Day, which i have seen like 4 times in the past week and still have not seen the begining. I'm so bored, i was watching Degrassi earlier....SERIOUSLY?! I have watched that crap since high school. I liked it back then but for real, it has gotten worse....it's definently high school crap.

Actually i've been bored for almost 2 weeks now...thats why i have been writing so much. Thats why it's time to find a job. I was suppose to go today with my mom (she needs a job too) but she didnt get home until like 3 so i will go Monday.

I really want to go to St. Louis tomorrow and walk around a mall or something but i dont have any money and i want to shop. I do have some money but i need to save it just in case i dont get a job as soon as possible, then i wouldnt have any money for Christmas. I hope something atleast happens tomorrow night, i cant stand staying in the house.

Oh boy.

I guess it's time to start job hunting. I'm having a hard time getting out of bed everyday, the last 2 days i havent gotten out of bed until almost 1 in the afternoon. I've been feeling like a lazy person and it makes me unhappy when I get out of bed that late, but yet again I dont do anything. So it's time to keep me busy. The only thing is I dont know if I want to get a full time, or a part time job since I'm not going to school. I think I'll just go for a part-time job.

I'm pretty possitive that I'm going to find an apartment close to campus when I start school again next fall. I really can't stand living in my parents house. As sad as that may sounds it's true. I want to have my own place again (not necessarily on my own, if someone wanted to get a place together i'd be totally up for that). Plus I'd rather be close to campus than drive an hour to school, even though it would only be 2 times a week. I just want to live in St. Louis.

I'm still not the best, thats why I've had a hard time getting out of bed lately. Chelsey, I know you said i need to start focusing on me and I'm starting to but its's still really hard.